Thursday, December 11, 2008
Reflective Letter
I quickly learned that my Writing Philosophy was useless after writing my first draft on my essay “Mistreatment of Indians.” I received a lot of good and bad feedback from my classmates and teacher. I realized that I needed to make many changes to my essay and I ended up re-writing the whole thing. In my opinion my final draft was written a lot better than what I have written the first time. Even though I received a score that I thought could have been better, I learned that my strength was my voice being well captured when I write. I have good ideas, but one of my weaknesses is that I need to work on putting my information into organized paragraphs that make sense when the reader is reading. Also, when I first wrote my first essay, my hook didn’t make all that sense with the rest of my paragraphs. When I re-wrote the essay I made sure that the paragraphs in the body supported the hook. For example, the hook for my essay is, “Colonists mistreated Native Americans because the Virginian government wanted full control over the Native American’s property and colonists wanted to ensure their safety.” I decided to keep this hook the same and when I re-read the essay, I saw a big difference. The essay that I re-wrote supported the hook a lot more.
As I made changes to the final draft of my first essay I knew what I needed to work on for my second essay “Story of a Georgia Loyalist.” This essay was a lot easier for me to write personally because it included some creative writing. The most difficult part of writing the essay was searching for information, other than that I didn’t have many difficulties. Writing this essay I struggled finding more information to help the reader really understand what I am writing about. My final score was better than my first score on the first essay, which proves that I have improved on my writing. I still need to work on organizing my thoughts so the essay is clear. There were some things that I included in the essay that were not that relevant, so I need to make sure that when I am writing I am including things that are only relevant to the essay. For example, in my essay I found two sentences that were not so relevant so I went ahead and erased them. I know that I will keep improving on my writing because I specifically know my strengths and weaknesses.
Starting this class I knew I was not a good writer. After producing these essays I feel more confident in my work and see a big improvement. As instructor Craig McKenney says, “no one is a bad writer” and to me that is true. I may have not been the best writer in the class, but I am happy with the growth that I have made. I learned so much that I know I probably wouldn’t have been taught in high school. This class was a great experience for me and I hope that my portfolio reflects my experience.
Essay #1: Mistreatment of the Native Americans
The government treated the colonists unfairly and that caused them to mistreat Native Americans. The colonial government and surrounding Native Americans agreed to a treaty in which Native Americans gave up all claims to the land already settled by the English. In other words, Natives were not allowed onto the lands already settled by the colonists. Since the colonists continued to multiply quickly, they became land-hungry. “In their quest for land, they pushed beyond the treaty limits of English settlement and encroached steadily on Indian land.” (Roark 91) Colonists desired more land, which would provide them with opportunities to make better revenue. By focusing all their attention on the land, colonists overlooked the deeper problem of their interactions with the Natives. Since Natives were different, colonists used that for their own selfish benefit. Instead of building strong relationships with them, the colonists stole their property and destroyed their homes. I notice in my own life how people get so caught up in themselves that they don’t find the time to understand or get to know people of different race. Moreover, “Bacon accused the Berkeley government of wrong doing, including unfair taxes and not protecting the western farmers from the Indians.” (Zinn 38) Berkeley wanted peace between the Native Americans and colonists because he was getting great profit by trading with the Natives. Disallowing the colonists to take the Natives land angered Bacon and the poor colonists. This brings my attention to many immigrants from around the world. Americans take advantage of them by having the immigrants work hard, but paying them less. Colonists did not only mistreat Natives for land, but they mistreated them to keep themselves away from harm.
In order to protect themselves, colonists mistreated the Natives to ensure their safety. The English were so used to seeing their race, that when they saw the Natives, it is understandable that they would be frightened. However, this does not give colonists the right to mistreat the Native Americans for their own safety. Berkeley had refused to react to the claims that the Indians were committing murders and thefts on the frontier.” (“Bacon’s Rebellion”) Because the governor was making a good profit from trading with the Indians, he was not willing to let anyone or anything disrupt that business. Colonists saw that Berkley was not doing anything about the murders of his people, so the colonists continued to abuse Natives for their protection. However, Bacon claimed that he was, “[A] champion for those who lived on the frontier and were exposed to the threat of harm by Indians.” ("Bacon's Rebellion”) Bacon makes it seem that the Natives were the only ones bringing harm. In my point of view, I noticed that it wasn’t only Native Americans threatening the colonists, but it was vice versa. Both Natives and colonists blamed each other causing war between them. Moreover, Bacon’s wife wrote to her sister stating, “The Indians killing people daily the Govern: not taking any notice of it for to hinder them, but let them daily doe all the mischief they can [.]” ("The William and Mary Quarerly") She is making it seem like Native Americans are horrible, and that they didn’t do anything bad to deserve the mischief. Mary does not realize that Bacon and the other colonists are treating the Natives the same way. The colonists saw themselves higher than the Natives, expecting them to have respect for them.
The government wanted full control of the land and that caused the Natives to lose their freedom. “The ensuing peace treaty between the colony and the natives virtually stripped the Powhatans of their independence, their lands, and their freedom of movement.” (Puglisi 76) All the land belonged to the Native Americans and the English came and took over claiming it because they believed it rightfully belonged to them. The colonists didn't just take the Natives land, but they took many poor souls; torturing them worse than animals. This reminds me of an event that took place not too long ago in history, when white people discriminated against the black race including others as well. Black people were not allowed to get the same schooling or even walk on the same side of the road as white people. The white people wanted full control and many innocent people lost their freedom and independence because of their differences. Even though we don’t have that problem anymore, there are people who still discriminate others because of how they look. Since Native Americans were different, the government wanted control. Even though the government made it seem like they were not taking the Natives land, they really were in order to get rich off of the Native Americans.
Race has impacted many people’s lives throughout history. I am one of the living proofs of that. I dislike getting mistreated because of who I am and where I came from. A person should not be judged because of their race or place they came from. I think that a person should be judged by their personality and not their race because all humans were created different. Native Americans in the 1600s were mistreated because of their race and their great differences between the colonists. They were also stripped of their freedom and independence. Many colonists mistreated them so they can ensure their safety and took full control over them because they were not like the colonists. America has not changed much from past events, like Bacon’s Rebellion. People still to this day are mistreating others because of differences. This has been a problem for a very long time leaving many people hurt by the discourtesy of others.
Works Cited:
"Bacon's Rebellion." January 22, 2006.
http://www.virginiaplaces.org/military/bacon.html
"Bacon's Rebellion." The William and Mary Quarterly Vol. 9, No. 14. October 16, 2008 http://www.jstor.org/pss/1914836
Essay #2:Story of a Georgia Loyalist
I left my homeland and took off for Georgia in 1735 for a one in a lifetime chance to bring prosperity to my family. It was an experience that changed my life forever. Georgia offered, “families of all social classes the opportunity to obtain free land and enjoy the status it brought” (Hall xiv). It did not matter how low the class of a family was to receive the opportunity to move to Georgia. The most important thing is that the British provide for us while we live in Georgia. For the first twelve months we worked on clearing the land and for the next two years we were given the chance to settle and inhabit the free land that was given to us. The Trustees provided all men with many useful items such as a watch coat, hatchet, hammer, iron pot, and many other items. Also, for the maintenance in the colony for one year, I was given food in proportions that the Trustees thought were proper. I received all this and not paying one bit of money to the Trustees. Though I left England behind and settled in Georgia, my family and I were greatly protected.
Many families and I did not know the security the land would give, but the British proved that they were there to protect us from harm. “Oglethorpe chose to spend £90,000 of his personal fortune to protect the southern frontier rather than risk its loss” (Hall 2). Georgia heavily depended for its protection and economic welfare on Britain, so most of the population here are Loyalists. “Additionally Oglethorpe constructed a series of forts and fortified settlements, brought in a regiment of British regulars, and led several attacks against the Spanish at St. Augustine as well as defended Georgia against Spanish attack” (Hall 2). I felt safe living in Georgia because I trusted the strongest empire being in power.
Leaving Britain would result in losing protection of the rights given to us by the British. Though we were given free land, we did have to abide by the rules the Trustees have made.
“Negroes and rum are prohibited to be used in the said, Colony, and trade with the Indians, unless licensed” (Jones 195). If people didn’t have a license for having slaves, that right would be taken away, but the British did not want people to lose their rights so they made sure that all rules were being followed. This is important to us because Britain fundamentally protected and is still protecting our property that I am unsure that the thirteen colonies would be able to do.
Looking at the life we lived in the 1730s was a gift from God. I was given the opportunity to take my family and move to Georgia. Here I am protected and worry free. I don’t want to break away from the British government because they have provided an opportunity for my family to start a new life with their helping hand by giving us many things that we were not able to obtain on our own. Britain deserves the support from the colonists to rule over the American colonies.
Works Cited:
Blassingame, John W. "American Nationalism and Other Loyalties in the Southern Colonies 1763-1775." Vol. 34 Feb. 1968 50-75. 16 Nov 2008 .
Hall, Leslie. Land & Allegiance in Revolutionary Georgia. University of Georgia Press, 2001.
"The Georgia Trustees: Rules for 1735." Colonial Settlement, 1600s-1763. 07/24/2003. The Library of Congress. 17 Nov 2008 .
Jones, Charles Jones. The History of Georgia. 1888.
Portfolio: Final Exam, Frame I
Meredith exaggerates the fact that reading and writing is a big problem in our life now because a high percentage of youth cannot even fill out a simple employment form. He states that the baby-boomer cohort is not only the best educated cohort in history, but it is likely the best educated that will ever be. Slowly the population percentage of illiterate people is rising and that is not a good that at all. It seems that he is saying without the checkers we have now a lot of people would be struggling. Meredith is surely right about literature being a problem for many people because I see it daily in my life and I see the struggles that people go through.
I have noticed in my life that there are many people who are functionally illiterate. For example, I know that many of my family members who drop out of high school and want to start working early have trouble reading and writing. They didn’t take the time to got to school and get a good education and now they are struggling in life. Moving to the United States at a young age and learning to speak English and at the same time trying to maintain my native language is not easy. I struggled a lot through school with reading and writing because I was required to go to after school classes and improve on my native language and not forget it. By taking two classes and learning both languages really affected the way I write because the languages are so different, and it becomes confusing. I think that is one of the reasons why people are struggling so much with literature; they know more than one language and get confused. I have a family member that is now a fifth grader who speaks three languages, but struggles in reading. By fifth grade we are supposed to know the basics of reading and writing, but he still has difficulties reading. This is a big issue for him because where will he be standing in these upcoming years? It will be hard to get a job and do everyday things when reading and writing levels are so low. A lot of teens don’t realize that reading and writing is very important in life. We use the skills we learn in school about reading and writing everyday. It is crucial that we continue working on these skills.
Having the ability to read and write really reflects upon our daily lives. There are many consequences to individual who are functionally illiterate. For example, in any job the ability to read and write is a requirement. If the person is not able to do either one, they are most likely not going to get the job. Having no job is a problem too because how will a person be able to live their life without working. To manage this issue, it is important that teachers really work with individuals who are having trouble and help as much as they can so the student understands. Also, I think that if reading and writing were taught every year and focused on more, students will be able to continue learning and improving their literature. I know that in my years of school, reading and writing were not focused as much as they should have been. If teachers include reading and writing in every subject that they are teaching I believe that improvement levels will rise. It is not too late to improve the education system.
As Meredith mentioned, “Even in the United States, at a time when technological “Progress” makes reading a survival skill...” proves that slowly students are relying on technology and are not trying to improve on their literature. I have seen many people in my family struggle with literature and it saddens me to know that. It is not to late to do something about this problem that is rising more than ever now. It is crucial that we do something about the education system and make sure that every student is getting that extra help. Technology can be a big help, but there are times where technology fails and we will have to make corrections on our own. We have to learn that we cannot rely on technology and push ourselves to continue learning and improving our literature.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Reflective Letter [DRAFT]
To: Portfolio Readers
-----I have put together a portfolio that contains my work over this quarter. Included is my first essay “Mistreatment of Indians,” my second essay “Story of a Georgia Loyalist” and my in-class final exam. English being my second language made it hard for me to produce well written essays, but from practicing and receiving feedback from my class mates and teacher, I have improved on my writing.
-----My Writing Philosophy before writing my essays was never producing more than one draft because it was not needed. However, after writing my first draft on my essay “Mistreatment of Indians,” I received a lot of good and bad feedback from my classmates and teacher. I realized that I needed to make many changes to my essay and I ended up re-writing it. I learned that my Writing Philosophy was not a good one because writing multiple drafts does make a big difference. In my opinion my final draft was written a lot better than what I have written the first time. Even though I received a low score on the final draft, I learned that my voice is well captured when I write and I have good ideas, but I need to work on organizing my thoughts.
-----As I made changes to the final draft of my first essay I knew what I needed to work on for my second essay “Story of a Georgia Loyalist.” This essay was a lot easier for me to write personally because it included some creative writing. The most difficult part of writing the essay was searching for information, other than that I didn’t have much difficulties. My final score was better than my first score on the second essay, which proves that I have improved on my writing. I still need to work on organizing my thoughts so the essay is clear. I know that I will keep improving on my writing because I specifically know my strengths and weaknesses.
-----Starting this class I knew I was not a good writer. After producing these papers I feel more confident in my work and see a big improvement. No one is a bad writer.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
ESSAY 2 Reflection
The only hard part about writing this essay was looking for good databases that were useful. Since we only had two weeks to work on the essay most of the time I put time in searching for useful information. I also went to library and asked for some help in finding a good book that can help me a bit. The librarian showed be a book about loyalists and I read through it and I found some information that can go into my essay.
The amount of time was less than the first essay so that made it a little difficult to get it done on time, but knowing that we had less time made me work harder in a way. Also, because we knew what we needed to focus on more, we didn't need a lot of time for this essay.
Overall, I feel that I did well on this essay because I knew what the teachers were looking for. Also, we were able to write in any kind of form so that made it easier for me. I think that I improved on my writing because I felt more confident when I wrote this paper. I asked clarifying questions that helped me improve my writing.
Friday, November 21, 2008
ESSAY #2 FINAL DRAFT
-----It was 1730 in London where I was sitting and thinking about my family’s future, barely having the money to buy bread for my children to eat. Living in England was hard for us, but I didn’t want my children growing up and knowing the truth that we were poor and couldn’t afford anything. As the days passed, I searched for opportunities to earn more money. One Monday evening, I was walking down the street and overheard a man named Oglethorpe speaking to a group of people about how he is going to help the poor and debt-ridden people of London. Oglethorpe was a man who served in the army and after he left, he devoted his time in helping people. I came up to him pleading if he could help me, and he suggested that I move to the New World and settle in Georgia. I believe in the British cause for the protection of our rights and security of my family that can bring prosperity.
-----I left my home land and took off for Georgia in 1735 for a one in a life time chance to bring prosperity to my family. It was an experience that changed my life forever. Georgia offered “families of all social classes the opportunity to obtain free land and enjoy the status it brought” (Hall xiv). It did not matter how low the class of a family was to receive the opportunity to move to Georgia. The most important thing is that the British provide for us while we live in Georgia. For the first twelve months we worked on clearing the land and for the next two years we were given the chance to settle and inhabit the free land that was given to us. The Trustees provided all men with many useful items such as a watch coat, hatchet, hammer, iron pot, and many other items. Also, for the maintenance in the colony for one year, I was given food in proportions that the Trustees thought were proper. I received all this and not paying one bit of money to the Trustees. I admire England and the wonderful opportunity it provided me and my family. Honestly, I doubted of whether going to the New World was the right option for my family and I hated the fact of leaving my beloved country and moving to the American colonies that may not even provide me with anything, but I learned that my mother land England has not forsaken me.Though I left England behind and settled in Georgia, my family and I were greatly protected.
-----Many families and I did not know the security the land would give, but the British proved that they were there to protect us from harm. “Oglethorpe chose to spend £90,000 of his personal fortune to protect the southern frontier rather than risk its loss” (Hall 2). Georgia heavily depended for its protection and economic welfare on Britain, so most of the population here are Loyalists. “Additionally Oglethorpe constructed a series of forts and fortified settlements, brought in a regiment of British regulars, and led several attacks against the Spanish at St. Augustine as well as defended Georgia against Spanish attack” (Hall 2). I felt safe living in Georgia because I trusted the strongest empire being in power.
-----Leaving Britain would result in losing protection of the rights given to us by the British. Though we were given free land, we did have to abide by the rules the Trustees have made.
“Negroes and rum are prohibited to be used in the said, Colony, and trade with the Indians, unless licensed” (Jones 195). If people didn’t have a license for having slaves, that right would be taken away, but the British did not want people to lose their rights so they made sure that all rules were being followed. This is important to us because Britain fundamentally protected and is still protecting our property which I am unsure that the thirteen colonies would be able to do.
-----Looking at the life we lived in the 1730s was a gift from God. I was given the opportunity to take my family and move to Georgia. Here I am protected and worry free. I don’t want to break away from the British government because they have provided an opportunity for my family to start a new life with their helping hand by giving us many things that we were not able to obtain on our own. Britain deserves the support from the colonists to rule over the American colonies.
Works Cited:
Blassingame, John W. "American Nationalism and Other Loyalties in the Southern Colonies 1763-1775." Vol. 34 Feb. 1968 50-75. 16 Nov 2008
Hall, Leslie. Land & Allegiance in Revolutionary Georgia. University of Georgia Press, 2001.
"The Georgia Trustees: Rules for 1735." Colonial Settlement, 1600s-1763. 07/24/2003. The Library of Congress. 17 Nov 2008
Jones, Charles Jones. The History of Georgia. 1888.